Kaitlin never spoke about her addiction because she thought she would lose her kids. So, what happens when alcohol, coke and weed stop being fun and start taking over your life and threaten everything you hold most sacred and precious? What happens when addiction changes from keeping you safe to making you vulnerable to assault?

We explore what life and motherhood really looks like in the haze of drink and drugs - not from a place of judgement but from lived experience. This is about the reality of addiction, the behaviour that comes with it, and the long process of learning who you are without the substances you once relied on. It’s not about perfection, but about honesty — the kind that comes after everything has fallen apart.

We talk about losing ourselves to drinking and drugs culture, the friendships that faded, and the dangerous moments that pushed things too far. We dig into the shame that keeps people stuck — the stories that feel too humiliating to tell, and how sharing them can become the first act of freedom.

This is a conversation about emotional immaturity, about using alcohol and drugs to avoid feeling, and the strange peace that comes when you finally stop running. We break down what a relapse really is the data around around relapse rates and why rehabs don't keep you sober.

You’ll hear what it’s like to rebuild from the ground up: getting your weekends back, repairing relationships, rediscovering ambition and joy, and learning to sit with yourself without needing a drink, spliff or a line to take the edge off. It’s also about empathy — how surviving addiction can give you a deeper understanding of human beings, and why the pain you go through can become the very thing that allows you to help others.

Kaitlin has been sober over three years and proves that asking for help doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you a better one. A mum of three, she speaks honestly about the highs, the lows, and everything in between, living one day at a time with love, humility, and the support of her 12-step program.

Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e

Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -

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Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!

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Topics -

0:00 Trailer & Intro

4:00 Kaitlin's rock bottom moment

5:30 Not safe and feeling shame

7:30 Fear of letting secrets out and losing children

10:30 Anything you put before recovery you will lose?

13:30 Are the words disease and addict a help or a problem?

20:00 Relapse leads to death?

23:00 What is a 'real' alcoholic?

26:00 How drugs and alcohol progressed from teens

30:20 Was your favourite weed, coke, pills or booze?

33:25 Sponsor

34:30 Relapse or blip?

36:45 The gift of desperation

38:15 What is the real relapse rate?

42:00 The first 30 days are awful!

44:00 Finding balance again

45:30 Going sober and losing friends

47:20 Why is The 12 Steps the last thing most people try?

50:45 What about tradition 12?

53:30 When are you ready to get sober?

54:30 Why rehab doesn't keep you sober

55:30 Quitting weed was the hardest for me!

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